4. Family Ties
I don’t think there has ever been enough emphasis or discussion about how much patients’ families suffer during the treatment. While the patient serves this life sentence, the families are traumatized too. It takes great resolve to rally together and stay focused. You were too young to understand this my dear, but your grandparents (my mum and dad), did not spare any effort in taking care of their daughter and their granddaughter. I could see many more wrinkles, they lost more weight than me during my chemotherapy, forcing a smile on their faces to encourage me when I was low. My Mom, having survived six major surgeries and suffering from hypertension and hyperthyroidism, and my father suffering from diabetes, in their late 60’s and early 70’s respectively were in need of care. And here we were: I was once again their baby who needed to be cared for and it was yesterday once more for them.
My brother discussed my case with Oncologists in the US, read day and night to understand the treatment to be followed along with a strict regimen of diet, medicine, and exercise. He would call me every day from the day I was diagnosed and egged me on. He flew down from the US for my surgery and was our pillar of strength. You spent several days playing and coloring with him. At his insistence, we met a few more doctors, sought an online opinion from a leading specialty cancer center and started the treatment. Your aunt prayed every day, your dad stood by us stoically. During my chemotherapy, there were endless days full of nausea, weakness, body aches and spirits that plunged every day. When my siblings visited me during chemotherapy, their presence felt like a rainbow against the dark, gloomy clouds. That my disease took a huge toll on my parents and siblings and your dad at a mental level would be an understatement.
Most importantly, it affected you emotionally, because you were very young and dependent on me. That I was no longer your primary caregiver, was a huge setback to you. Your grandparents, though, helped you cope beautifully and you soon embraced this new way of life. Trust me, it was reassuring to see that you were less dependent on me and blooming into a young person with a personality of your own.
I was never one to have a huge gang of friends. The few friends I had, and have to this day, were badly affected by the news. The school friends that I had lost touch with, somehow reached out and became connected again. The disease and its treatment affected my emotional and mental well being but helped me regain my friends and family. I have the greatest respect for the doctors who treated me or are treating me, the nurses and support staff at the hospital. Their humane demeanour and calming presence along with the best possible medical care that I could get have led to the start of my recovery. I will be undergoing hormone therapy until early next year, I feel more positive and stronger every day and hopeful of leading a fuller, happier life.
I had the greatest family support ever. Their constant encouragement kept me going. Not many have such an amazing support system. This series has been written not just for you but also for those who do not have the support of family members and friends or those who would like to read and also share their experiences. Cancer has reached epidemic proportions in India and not enough is being spoken, written or discussed. I found that there weren’t enough blogs or sites dedicated to the subject. So, here is my story, for those who want to find out more. If you have any questions or would like to share your experience or that of your loved one, please write to me in the comments section below.
