10 things I wish I had known before I had cancer

As I celebrate another year of being healthy and cancer-free, it is time to pen down my thoughts on what I learned during my cancer journey. Every cancer and every patient's life and story are different.

However, one thing binds us: Cancer strikes when you least expect it!

Having spoken to several patients, survivors, caregivers and doctors over the years, and with my own experience, there are several things that I wish I had known much before I had cancer. It would have probably prepared me better, in hindsight. Not that I can do much about it now, so why not share it with those who have recently been diagnosed with cancer or need to hear this as a caregiver?

1. You are not alone — The first thing that you all need to hear is, you are not alone. There are hundreds and thousands like you, belonging to diverse age groups and risk profiles. You just have to look around, it's like an epidemic nobody wants to discuss. Every person I know, in turn, knows someone who has had cancer or is battling with it currently. That says a lot, doesn’t it?
2. No, it’s not your Karma — Stop attributing Cancer or any other ailment to Karma of this life or the previous births. It is convenient for others to say this to you and for you to start believing in it, but trust me, it's not true. That’s a very poor interpretation of Karmic cycles. Life throws a curve ball, you deal with it. That’s all. DO NOT bring Karma into it.
3. Why me? — An extension of my point on Karma, all of us have asked ourselves at some point — why me? Don’t torture yourself with such thoughts. Learn to forgive yourself and get on with the battle with cancer like a warrior. You will only end up wallowing in self-pity, whereas you need every bit of your resolve to face up to the challenge at hand.
4. Early diagnosis is the key — Visit a doctor immediately if you notice a lump/lesion/hard mass of issue/or any disturbing finding in your regular health check reports. Do not delay this. Early diagnosis is extremely important. Early-stage cancers are more likely to be treated as well as cured because of the availability of more treatment options as well as time. I have met women over the years who delayed doctor visits and hid their breast lumps, leaving their families devastated when their cancer finally got detected at a very late stage. It’s heartbreaking to watch the helpless families go through this and live with guilt long after the patient is gone.

5. Getting a second opinion — By all means, get as many opinions from as many Oncologists as you like — it is what I call “shopping” for a second/third/fourth opinion. This will help you find a doctor that instils confidence in you and you feel comfortable under their care. Cancer is a long battle, it is a matter of months or years, not just a few days. So, a doctor-patient relationship is as critical in the treatment plan as the treatment itself.

6. Golden source of every Cancer-related query— Your oncologist is your go-to person for every cancer-related query you might have. Not your friends or family, irrespective of how well-meaning they are, how educated they are and how well they can execute searches on Google, Bard and ChatGPT.

7. Say no to Internet Gyaan/WhatsApp University — People will forward inane messages attributing reasons for your cancer — like wearing black clothes, black innerwear, your house’s vastu, your birth chart, and so on. Some will advise you (unsubstantiated) alternative treatments. Do not fall for it.

8. Alternative therapies/treatments — I believe we Indians are gifted because we know about Ayurveda and several other ancient forms of medicine. But I am also a person who believes in data. Now here is the controversial part — If someone claims to ‘cure’ cancer with any of these ancient alternative forms of therapy, the first thing I would ask is — where is the data to prove it? Modern medicine is backed by decades of research and trials, therefore if my doctor advises a line of treatment based on extensive research and established global protocols, I would place my trust in them. Quacks masquerading as Ayurveda/homoeopathy practitioners are doing a great disservice to these ancient sciences.

9. Keep your loved ones close — Your family, as your caregivers are as invested in your well-being as you or your doctors are. Take them into confidence and share what you are going through. They will stand by you on your lowest days even if they do not find time to cheer for you when you are at your best. I have cried, fought, yelled and howled on my worst days and all of us are still around for each other. There is nothing like having your family rallying around you. I am truly grateful to them, and you should be too.

10. Mental Health — As your treatment progresses and several rounds of chemotherapy and radiation take their toll on you, your resolve starts crumbling and impacts your mental health. You may look and seem fine, but you are breaking inside. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Seeking counselling sessions with a mental health professional is the right way to deal with it and doesn't make you look weak in any way. I’d go a step further and recommend it for primary caregivers as well because dealing with a patient every day drains them mentally and emotionally.

I wrote this post as my annual debt of gratitude to my doctors and family and to commemorate World Cancer Day. If you are a cancer patient or caregiver, you can reach out to me and share your story:

Twitter:@SwatiSuramya

Email: stayinalivecommunity@gmail.com